Act Your Age
by Fullmetal224
Summary: Roy treats Ed like a 2-year-old. Ed hates Roy. I suck at summaries. R&R. Contains diapering of Ed and Envy
1. WHAT?

Act Your Age

Chapter One: WHAT!?!

Roy grumbled as he took another asprin and looked at Ed. He had thrown over 200 tantrums today, and was acting very childish. Roy then brightened. If Ed was acting like a baby, why not treat him like one? He made a phone call to everyone in the military, telling them his idea. Ed looked at him in confusion. Roy put the phone down, and looked at Ed. "What's going on?" Ed asked. "Ed, you've been acting very bratty since we met. And I intend to get through to you you need to act your age." Roy explained, earning a blank stare from Ed.

"In other words, I am going to treat you how you act. Since you love acting like you're two, I will treat you like one. Starting tomorrow for two weeks, you will be treated like a two year old to everyone in the military. Which gives me a good excuse to go on vacation." Ed gaped in suprise. "WHAT!?!" Ed yelled, before he was shoved out of Roy's office. The decision had been made. Ed would be treated like a two year old for two weeks, so Ed went off to enjoy the rest of the day while he still could.

Sorry it's so short. I try to make more funny soon. R&R!!!


	2. Clothes and Breakfast

Chapter Two: Clothes and Breakfast

Ed woke up the next morning feeling a bit uncomfortable. Being treated like a two year old starting...now. Ed groaned. When was Roy going to come in and start bottle feeding him and doing more embarassing things? Hopefully he forgot. He was starting to think this when Roy popped in the room carrying a diaper and some small clothes. Ed's eyes widened at the clothes. An orange and white striped shirt and khaki-pants. Roy started to reach for Ed's belt, when Ed pulled away and hugged his knees, pressed against the far edge of the bed.

Unfortunately, Roy wouldn't take no for an answer, and started to undo Ed's shirt instead. Ed struggled, but to no avail as the shirt was pulled on. Roy then moved toward Ed's belt. Ed tried to pull away, but Roy had a good grip on his pants and instead of having Ed escape, he easily slipped Ed out of his pants. Ed blushed as his boxers were yanked off and the diaper was slipped on. Roy sensed surrendur from Ed, and pulled the pants on, then stepping back to admire his handiwork. Ed glared as Roy smirked at him.

"Now let's get your breakfast." Roy said as he went into the kitchen. (Their at Roy's house now.) Ed was left in the room now, thinking about what a two year old would eat. Well, two year olds are currently teething, so they can't really eat. So what would happen now? He heard Roy come back, holding a bottle of...MILK!?! Ed was speechless. Roy walked over to him, sat on the bed, and held Ed as if he was a baby. Ed growled. Roy tried to put the bottle in Ed's mouth, but Ed turned away in disgust.

"C'mon, Ed. Milk will make you big and strong, and turn you into a big boy!" Roy baby talked. Ed still wouldn't take it. So Roy had to work with another tactic.

"'You're short."

Ed then started to open his mouth to rant, but as soon as his mouth was open, Roy thrust the bottle into Ed's mouth. Ed tried to push it out, but to no avail as Roy squirted the milk into Ed's mouth. Ed had no choice but to swallow. Roy squirted a few more times, until all the milk was gone. Ed gagged when the bottle was finally out of his mouth. He then felt Roy fling him over his shoulder. Roy landed two firm pats on his back, and a loud burp came from Ed. Roy sat Ed and himself on the bed. "You're gonna love this news Ed. Today, you're going to the zoo!" Roy exclaimed.

Ed gulped. This was not good. If he remembered, two year olds were transported by strollers. And since Roy actually put him in a diaper, he wasn't joking about this. If he was going to be treated like a two year old, he was going all the way. This was going to be a long two weeks.


	3. The Zoo, Strollers, and Ed's Revenge

Chapter Three: The Zoo, Strollers, and Ed's Revenge

There was just no way. NO WAY that Ed was going to ride in a stroller. Sure he was small (he'd hate to admit) for his age, but he couldn't fit in a stroller, could he? They just found out he could fit in a booster seat. So there was a slim chance of him not fitting in a stroller. They found out soon as they arrived at the zoo and Roy sat him in a stroller, and forced a binky in his mouth. '_Why? WHY?!? THIS IS SO EMBARASSING!!! WHY?!?_' Ed screamed in his head as he was pushed in the zoo. It was so embarassing! At each animal, Roy would pick Ed up and show him the animal. Ed felt like he was going to fall over the fence.

As they headed towards the lions, Ed saw the restrooms, and got the perfect idea for revenge. Two year olds weren't supposed to be potty-trained yet, right?

As they were heading past the restrooms, Roy thought he smelled something funny. Wierd. And it didn't seem any of the animals were doing it...Wait. Roy bent down, and sniffed Ed. His eyes widened. Ed smirked. '_Let's see how you deal with this you Ba%$#*._' Ed thought. Roy sighed, then went into the restroom.

In the restroom, Roy calmly picked Ed up, and laid him down on the changing board. Roy dreaded how bad it was going to LOOK compared to how it smelled. He quickly got a clothespin from the bag and clipped his nostrils shut. Ed frowned. Roy unfastned the diaper, and gagged. Quickly Roy took the diaper off, and threw it away. He then took a clean diaper and put it over Ed's...(censored) while wiping Ed's bottom. Roy then put powder all over Ed's bottom, which felt very wierd for Ed. Roy smirked. He then slipped a clean diaper and Ed's pants back on Ed crossed his arms and pouted, as he was set back in his stroller and pushed back out.

At the lions, Roy noticed Ed was a little down. He smiled. "Ed, If you promise to behave, I'll let you walk on your own. But if I see any misbehaving, you're going back in your stroller. Got it?" Ed nodded. '_FINALLY!!! At least SOMETHING goes my way!!!!!_' Ed thought as he was set down. What he didn't know was that when he tried to run, something yanked him back. He looked at Roy and saw he was holding a small kid's leash. "You didn't think I would actually let you run and get lost did you?" Roy asked.

Ed growled, and pouted. "But if you're gonna pout like that, I could put you back in the stroller." Roy threatened. Ed stopped pouting. '_At least I'm able to walk. But I don't think he'll let me for long._' Ed thought. The rest of the time Ed spent at the zoo walking on that leash. He swore he was going to kill the person who invented those!!!

On the way home, Roy asked, "Did you have a fun time, Ed?" To which Ed didn't answer.

That's it! R&R!!!


	4. Mischief and Naps

Chapter Four: Mischief and naps

At home, Ed sat on the floor, bored out of his mind. Then got another idea. Weren't two year olds also supposed to get into mischief? And you can't spank a two year old! '_VICTORY!!! NOTHING CAN GO WRONG NOW!!!_' Ed yelled in his head. He then stopped, and thought, '_What do I do?_' Ed then brightened. He went to Roy's room, and stole the colonel's gloves. Ed was about to snap, but the colonel came in before he could."EDWARD!!!!" He yelled. Ed turned to Roy, with a look that said "What did I do?" Roy snatched the gloves, and set them on the counter, before turning back to Ed. Ed's smirk left as he felt himself being dragged over to a corner.

In the corner, Roy scolded him about not touching his gloves, and told him he had to stand in the corner for 5 minutes.

So Ed stood.

Being bored...

bored...

bored...

bored...

Ed banged his head on the wall. Even 5 minutes felt like an hour!!!! Soon, he was finally let out, and was told it was time for his nap. Ed gaped. A NAP!?! Ed then felt himself being picked up. He wasn't even tired! Who gives naps to a person who's not tired?! Ed looked at his room, and saw that the bed wasn't a bed anymore. It was a crib. Ed growled. Ed was suprised that he actually was able to fit in the crib. He was going to kill Roy if he ever got through this. Before he knew it, he fell asleep. Roy smirked.

Done! R&R!!!


	5. Television and Dinner

Chapter Five: Television and Dinner

When Ed woke up, he saw a bird mobile above him, and bars on either side of him. Wait...why did he feel wet? Ed froze, and felt his diaper. He cursed in his head. He actually WET HIMSELF?!? Roy came in the room, and said, trying to supress his snikers, "Have a nice nap? Looks like you did." Ed just glared. After Roy changed his wet diaper, he set him down in front of the T.V. He turned it on to "Blue's Clues" before putting the remote wear Ed couldn't reach, and saying, "Watch this while I make you dinner."

Ed rolled his eyes, knowing that while Roy stuffed his face, he would just get a bottle of milk. Of course, when he was at the table, his chair had been replaced with a high-chair, with a plate of peas and a bottle of milk. Ed winced as he was set down in the high-chair. It was still very uncomforting to have to sit in a diaper. Roy picked up the plastic spoon, and held the spoonful of peas up to Ed's mouth. Ed just felt like crying right there. He was sure he was going to die in two weeks. Having no choice, Ed took the peas, until he was green in the face and they were all gone.

Ed then felt himself being picked up, and held in the familiar baby position on Roy's lap. Roy grabbed the bottle, and Ed, knowing surrendur, suckled on it for a minute until all the milk was drained. Roy then burped him, and set him down in the new playpen near the T.V. In the playpen were numerous baby toys. An hour later, Roy noticed Ed was yawning and staring at the screen with a blank expression. He looked at the clock.

6:30

Roy went to Ed's dresser, and picked out a pair of red footie pajamas. Ed was so tired he didn't fight when he had to take a bath or when Roy put him in a new diaper with the footies. Roy put him to bed, and left the room, on the first night of two year old Ed.

First day got through! What's in store for Roy next? R&R!!!


	6. Colds and Doctors

Chapter six: Colds and Doctors

Ed woke up the next day not feeling very well. His stomach was hurting, and his throat was burning. Not to mention he wet himself again. Ed moaned. Roy quickly came to Ed's room to see the problem. Roy felt Ed's forehead, which was quite warm to his touch. He carried Ed out to the couch, and laid him down. Roy left, and came back in a few seconds with a rectal thermometer. Ed groaned. He was beginning to feel sorry for two year olds. Roy calmly and gently Set Ed on his stomach over his lap, and pulled off his footies and diaper. Ed couldn't help but whimper as the thermometer was injected into his rump.

After a few seconds, Roy pulled it out, and read the temperature.

102.3

Roy's eyes widened. "We need to get you to a doctor." He stated. Ed whimpered. After changing Ed's diaper and changing him into clothes, (red shirt and black shorts) they drove to a children's doctor. In the doctor's office, the doctor examined Ed and told Roy, "It's just a little cold. Should go away in a day. At least if I give him this." The doctor held up a syringe, making Ed whimper and scoot to a corner of the examination table, covering his rear. The doctor chuckled. "Don't worry little one, it won't hurt a lot."

Roy gently laid Ed on his stomach on the table, and pulled his pants and diaper down. Ed squeaked as the needle went into his bottom. The doctor soon took it out, and told Roy, "If his stomach starts to hurt again..." Ed couldn't make out the rest.

When they got home, Ed was sitting in his playpen watching Barney. Suddenly he clutched his stomach and moaned. Ed watched as Roy got up and went to the bathroom, coming back carrying laxatives. Ed stared blankly and held his stomach as his pants and diaper were pulled down, and he was in his diaper-changing position. He then winced as Roy inserted a laxative up his bottom, and put his diaper and pants back on.

A few minutes later, Ed's stomachache was gone, but he also noticed he made a BIG move to get rid of it. '_Oh, %$#!!!_' Ed screamed in his head at the smell. He sighed, and realized that he absolutely had to get Roy to do this. So with his legs spread wide apart, he waddled over to Roy, thinking '_Oh, this is so gross!!! This feels so wierd!!!_' Before he got to Roy, he was picked up, and carried to the bathroom. "I could smell it all the way from there." Roy explained. Ed smirked a little.

In the bathroom, Roy took a nearby clothespin and pinned his nostrils shut. He dreaded how bad THIS one looked. Holding his breath, he changed the diareah filled diaper, Ed somewhat enjoying it. Ed then had lunch, which was soup and a bottle of, of course, milk. Ed was still disappointed that he never got dessert with this. On the last spoonful of soup, Ed spit it back at Roy, smirking proudly. The smirk left when Roy scolded him and made hhim stand in the corner again for 5 minutes.

Ed wondered what Al would think when he got back.

Ok, I'm done. Send me more requests/ideas! R&R!!!

**Al:I'm not in this!**

**Me:You will be, quit whining!**

**Ed:I'm going to kill you once I get out of this!!!!!**

**Roy: Quiet, Ed!!!! You're in time-out!!!**

**Me:BYE!!!**


	7. Baths and Babysitters

A/N: I am requesting all you readers to help me with your own ideas of what Roy should do to Ed, but I will not make Ed allergic to milk, as one reviewer said. Enjoy!

Chapter Seven: Baths and Babysitters

As Ed was thinking, Roy called him from his corner. Ed went back to watching T.V, while Roy watched the clock. After Ed's daily nap and dinner, it was time for Ed's bath. Ed groaned. Sure he got through a bath the first night, but he was tired then. This time he was wide awake. He blushed as Roy slipped him out of his clothes. It was bad enough he was naked. Why did it have to be in front of the _colonel_?!? Roy set Ed down in the warm water of the tub, and started to scrub everywhere he could with Ed struggling. When Ed was clean and his hair and teeth were brushed, Roy braided his hair back up and changed him into a clean diaper and yellow footies.

Ed groaned as Roy zipped up the footies and started carrying Ed to his crib. When Ed was in his crib, Roy sang a lullaby and stayed with him until Ed fell asleep. Roy smirked. The boy was so childish sometimes Roy wanted to laugh.

The next day, Ed felt a lot better. He still wet himself, but his stomachaches and burning throat were gone. He waited a few seconds for Roy to come get him, but strangely Roy wasn't coming. '_Must've wanted to sleep in._' Ed thought. Luckily for Ed, while he was small enough to fit in the crib, he was big enough to climb out. As he was sneaking through the hall, he bumped into someone. He looked up, and saw Havoc. "Hey, champ. Roy had important buisiness to take care of, so Uncle Havoc is here to take care of wittle baby Ed!" Havoc said, pinching Ed's cheek.

Ed pouted. "Aw, c'mon champ! Look who else is here!" Havoc exclaimed, pointing behind him. Ed looked, and saw Al! Ed smiled. Then he heard Al snicker. "Ed, you wet yourself?" Ed looked down, and saw the diaper wasn't good at holding fluids. Ed blushed as Havoc chuckled. "It's okay, champ. At least I know how to change a diaper too." Havoc said as he carried Ed to the bathroom. Taking off the footies, Havoc changed the diaper the same way Roy would've, and dressed him in a green shirt and white shorts.

When they came out, Al chuckled, "I always wanted a little brother!" To which Ed growled. Ed's stomach growled with him. "Woah, little tummy's gettin' hungry, huh?" Havoc baby talked, giving Ed's stomach a light tickle. Ed slapped his hand away. "I'll go make some breakfast." Havoc announced as he strode into the kitchen. While Al played with Ed, Havoc made himself and Ed some oatmeal with a glass and bottle of milk. He sat Ed in his highchair, and spoonfed him the oatmeal. Then Havoc gave Ed the milk and burped him as if Havoc were Roy.

An hour after breakfast, Al noticed Ed was totally bored. Al also knew that if Ed was bored, he would soon get into trouble. Sure enough, when Al took an eye off Ed for one single second, he was gone. Al looked everywhere for his brother. In every room, closet, and under every surface. He then checked outside, where Ed was found on the roof, snickering. Al gasped. "Ed! Get down from there! You'll hurt yourself!" He yelled. Ed just laughed, until he fell over, and into Al's arms. Al sighed in relief, before entering the house with Ed.

"You find him?" Havoc asked. Al nodded, and set Ed down. Ed gulped. Was he going to call Roy? He saw Havoc move toward him, and scold him about putting himself in danger. "What if you were hurt and none of us knew!? You could've been killed!" He scolded. Ed felt a few tears sting his eyes. Havoc carried Ed to his playpen, and took all the toys out. "time-out for running off." Havoc explained. Ed was let out 15 minutes later, and was able to play tag with Havoc and Al for a few hours before lunch. For lunch, Havoc made applesauce for Ed, and of course, milk. Ed was very happy after lunch, because Havoc let him have Chips Ahoys for dessert.

At naptime, Ed wasn't tired, so Al and Havoc had to try to catch the little brat while he ran through the house. Soon, Al caught up with him and grabbed him, carrying him up to his room while Havoc rested on the couch. Al set Ed down in his crib, and slipped Ed's pants off. "Havoc said this will help from getting your pants wet too." Al explained. Ed rolled his eyes as he soon fell asleep. Al chuckled.

Ed yawned as he woke up from his nap an hour later. Al sighed as he looked at his brother's again wet diaper. "Ed, are you gonna do this your whole life now? Ever since the colonel did this, you've been wetting yourself involuntarily!" Ed shrugged. Al sighed, changed Ed's diaper, (which was akward for both of them) and dressed Ed back in his pants. After that, he spent the last few hours playing Hide-and-Seek with Havoc, often using Al as a hiding place. Havoc would ask if he saw Ed, and Al would shake his head, but fidget. Ed was mainly found that way.

After dinner, Roy came back, so Havoc and Al had to leave. Ed waved goodbye sadly as Roy ruffled his hair.

Okay, I'm done. Wait 'til next chapter! R&R!!!


	8. New Words and A Playdate Gone Bad

A/N: I got alot of reviews the last chappy, so I'm gonna reward you guys. And I agree I'm dying to write two year old Ed getting spanked, as one reviewer requested. So enjoy!!! Also, when Ed says stuff in a baby voice, IT IS NOT A SPELLING ERROR!!!

Chapter Eight: New Words and A Playdate Gone Bad

When Al and Havoc left, Roy let Ed watch T.V and play in his playpen for awhile, until bathtime came. Ed grumbled as Roy washed him, and put him in a new diaper and footie pajamas that had a bunny design. When Roy placed the hood over Ed, he couldn't help but chuckle. Ed growled, before feeling himself being picked up. Roy carried Ed to his crib, and sat with him until he fell asleep. While heading to his room, the phone rang, and Roy hurried to answer it, hoping that Ed didn't wake up.

"Mustang." Roy whispered.

"_Yo, Roy! Just wanted to let you know you gotta finish some paperwork here at the office tomorrow!_" The annoying voice of Hughes rang in Roy's ears.

"I can't. I have a two year old I have to take care of."

"_Just keep him in my office! I'll look after the little tyke while you do your work!_"

"*sigh*Okay. Just make sure he stays out of trouble."

"_I gotcha. Bye!_"

"Bye."

Roy hung up, and dreaded tomorrow for the rest of the night.

The next day, Roy had to wake up early, dragging Ed up with him. When Roy went to Ed's room, he snickered at the sight. Ed's left thumb was in his mouth, and he was curled up in a comfortable position. Roy couldn't help but take a picture. Ed woke up and quickly jerked his thumb out of his mouth. After breakfast, Roy explained what was going on, and Ed frowned. The whole day with a doting daddy on him about his daughter. He was going to die! After changing Ed and putting his clothes on, (blue shirt and yellow shorts) they headed for HQ.

At Central HQ, Roy handed Ed off to Hughes, then went to work, while Hughes took Ed to his office. In Hughes' office, Ed kept silent. Hughes was confused by this. "Ed, why don't you talk? I know you're being treated like a two year old, but two year olds can talk." Ed's eyes widened at this. Hughes smiled. "Okay, so that's why you weren't talking. But you are only limited to simple words. Got it?" Hughes explained. Ed smiled. "Yesh, Uncle Hoos!" Ed exclaimed in his best two year old voice. Hughes patted Ed's head.

After lunch, Hughes exclaimed, "Okay, Ed. Nappy time!" To which Ed groaned. "Not tiwed yet." Hughes smiled at how childish Ed was being as he carried Ed to a cot and set him to sleep. In the middle of Ed's nap, the phone rang, jerking Ed awake. He turned his head sleepily to see Hughes answer the phone, and curse a blue streak into it. Before Hughes looked behind him, Ed did his best to pretend he was asleep. Soon before the call ended, he did fall asleep. After his nap, Hughes changed his diaper, and played with Ed for awhile. "Hey, Ed! I just got a great idea! What if you and Elysia have a playdate! Won't that be fun!?" Hughes exclaimed. Ed thought about it, before stating, "Yesh."

Soon, Roy came to take Ed home. Hughes told Roy about their plan, and Roy grumbled. Roy was also disappointed that Ed was now able to talk, and the childish voice was annoying. "Woi, when we goin' to pawk?" Ed asked. "Tomorrow." Roy replied. Ed then let loose the curse words he heard Hughes say on the phone, and smirked. His smirk left though, when he felt a hard swat on his bottom. "You do not curse." Roy scolded. Ed stood, gaping. Two year olds weren't spanked! Roy smirked. "I know what you're thinking, Ed. And yes, I can spank a two year old. But not like I spank 15 year olds." He answered the unasked question.

Ed pouted. Just when he thought he could get into things and not worry about "consequenses"!

The next day, Roy got Ed ready for the park. he changed him, got him in clothes, (red shirt and overalls) and gave him his usual breakfast bottle of milk. At the park, while Roy and the Hughes' were talking, Ed and Elysia played and got along very well. Until the adults heard crying. They ran over to Elysia, who was crying under the monkey bars, and Ed who was on the monkey bars, apologizing rapidly and yelling that it was an accident. "What happened?" Gracia asked, cuddling Elysia. "E-Ed pushed meeee!" She cried.

Roy looked at Ed sternly. He picked him up, and said, "We'll be back, Ed and I need to have a talk." Before walking away from the scene to a bench. He sat on the bench, sitting Ed down in his lap. "Why did you push her, Ed? You should know better!" He asked. Ed looked at his feet, like a naughty child that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar before dinner. "Well...I din' mean to. She wus tewing me she wus the owdest n' should go first on evwytin', so...I got angwy n'...pushed her." Ed whispered.

_Translation: "Well...I didn't mean to. She was telling me she was the oldest and should go first on everything, so...I got angry and...pushed her."_

Roy frowned. "So instead of telling us that she wasn't letting you have a turn on stuff, you push her?" He asked. Ed's face dropped. That thought never occured to him! Roy lifted Ed's head with a finger to look him in the eyes. "So when we go back over there, I want you to apologize to Elysia. And if you have anymore trouble behaving, I'll take you home and you can spend the rest of playtime in time-out. Got it?" He asked. Ed nodded. They went back to the monkey bars, and Ed apologized to Elysia.

"What happened to make Ed push her?" Gracia asked. Ed looked at his feet, as Roy explained the situation. Gracia looked at Elysia, who was looking down at her feet. She scolded Elysia about taking turns, and Ed and Elysia were back to playinng immediately.

After lunch, Roy noticed that Ed and Elysia were yawning a lot. Roy checked his watch.

1:00

"Time to go." Roy announced. The families said their good-byes, and drove home.

At home, Roy carried Ed to his crib for his nap. Ed was falling asleep quickly, which meant more weight in Roy's arms. Roy quickly put Ed in his crib, and stayed until he was fully asleep.

That's the end for this chapter! R&R!!! I NEED MORE IDEAS!!!!!

**Al: No fair! I'm only in a chapter!!!**

**Me: Well, maybe someone will request you again!**

**Al: (Puppy eyes in a tin suit) PLEASE REQUEST ME!!! I'M SO LONELY!!! **

**Me:Drama king in a tin can...**

**Al: Writing otaku...**


	9. More Babysitters and Extreme Cuteness

Chapter Nine: More Babysitters and Extreme Cuteness

Ed yawned, before jerking his thumb out of his mouth once more. He waited a few seconds, before finally climbing out of his crib to get Roy. When he came out, he saw Winry and Al outside his room. Ed smiled, and waved, before feeling something trickle down his legs. He froze, and his face went red. Winry giggled. Al sighed, "I'll get it."

In the bathroom, Al took one look at what was in the diaper, and gagged. "Oh, BROTHER!!! I thought two year olds were potty-trained! I swear, I can't wait until Roy stops this! Oh, this is so GROSS!" He yelled in disgust as he changed the crap-filled diaper.

It felt extremely akward for Ed. How could he do this in front of _his own brother and Winry_!?! Maybe in the excitement of seeing them, he wet himself. But of course, he also wanted to leave a little _"present"_ for Al. But it was extremely uncomfortable and akward for Ed, because how would YOU feel if your younger brother was changing your dirty diaper and wiping and powdering your bottom?

After the changing, Winry and Al played with Ed until dinner, which was corn and some milk in his bottle. Ed wished Roy was more like the babysitters, because they let him have dessert.

Soon, it was time for Ed's bath. Of course, Ed ran outside, getting mud all over him. Al caught him, and they had a lot of fun bathing Ed, because Ed kept on trying to escape, making Winry's entire body or Al's head fall in the water.

After Ed's bath, Winry put Ed in a new diaper, and pink bunny footie pajamas with the ears. Winry and Al thought it was so cute to see Ed in those bunny pj's. Ed smiled mischeviously, before using his most cutest pose. Sparkling golden eyes, and wiggling his nose like a bunny. Winry practicaly fell over with adoration.

At that time, Roy came in, and saw this. He snickered. The trio noticed this, and Winry and Al left, saying good-bye and "be good." Ed scoffed, then yawned. Roy picked Ed up, and carried him to his crib. Sitting down in a rocking chair, Roy cuddled Ed in his chest, rocking him slowly back and forth until he fell asleep. When he did, Roy gently laid him in his crib, whispering,

"Good night, silly bunny."

Repeat after me: AWWW!!!! Keep ideas rolling in!!!

**Envy: Why aren't I in here!?!**

**Me:'Cause no one requested you.**

**Envy: REQUEST ME OR GLUTTONY WILL EAT YOU!!!!**

**Me: Oh, boy...**


	10. Shopping Blues and Rashes

Chapter Ten: Shopping Blues and Rashes

Roy woke up early the next morning. He thought about what else two year olds eat, because he was running low on food. He guessed he could get more veggies...so he decided he had to go to the grocery store that day, and take Ed with him. But when he went to wake up Ed, he was gone. Roy then started to get worried, until he heard noises in the bathroom. He sighed in relief as he found Ed climbing on the counter to reach the medicine cabinet.

"What are you doing?" Roy asked.

Ed looked at him for a moment, then simply stated as he pointed to his bottom, "Itchy."

Roy smirked as he lifted Ed off the counter, and set him in his changing position. He slipped Ed out of his cute footies and diaper, and searched for the source of his itchyness. He soon found a small red rash on his bottom. He chuckled. "Diaper rash, huh?" He asked. He reached in the medicine cabinet, and pulled out a tube of anti-itch cream. After wiping and powdering Ed's butt, he rubbed the cream over the rash, making Ed involuntarily jet piss out in the colonel's face. Ed laughed harder than he ever did, while Roy just glared at him.

After changing Ed and putting his clothes on, (orange shirt and red shorts) Roy explained what they were going to do. Ed smirked. Here was a whole new chance to embarrass Roy!

At the store, instead of riding in the cart seat, Roy let Ed walk on the leash. The problem with this, was Ed would cling to a big bag of candy, and Roy would pull him off, saying, "You don't need all that sugar, Ed."

The second time Roy did that, Ed retaliated by kicking him in the leg. This was rewarded with two firm swats on Ed's clothed bottom. Even though the spanks weren't that hard, Ed thought it would be very entertaining to sob and watch the action that took place. An anti-spanking old lady hit Roy with her purse, and yelled, "HOW DARE YOU ABUSE YOUR POOR CHILD!!!???" Before walking away in a huff.

Ed giggled, until he saw a familiar palm-tree headed figure...

ENVY!!!!!!!

Ed ran toward Envy as Roy wasn't holding the leash anymore, and lunged at him. Envy blocked him, and it immediately turned into a fist-fight. Roy and Father saw this happening, and separated the two. After two hard spankings were delivered, Roy and Father dragged their kids back home.

I'm going to post the next chapter soon. R&R!!!!!

**Ed: I'm afraid to ask but...why was Envy there?**

**Me: You'll see...**

**Envy: I WAS SPANKED?!?!? HOW COULD YOU SPANK ME?!? **

**Me: Don't blame me! I'm just a...writer of this fanfic...but I'm starving for ideas!!! Anyone who gives me an idea of what could happen with Ed and Envy gets a free cookie!!!!!**

**Envy: DON'T YOU DARE...!!!!!!**

**Me:BYE!!!**


	11. Envy's Punishment

Chapter Eleven: Envy's Punishment

We're gonna go underground to join the homuculi and see what's happening with Envy and the gang.

In Envy's room, Father was having a "conversation" with Envy about his behavior.

"I must admit, Envy, I'm getting tired of your immature actions. You know I expect better from you." Father scolded. Envy glared away from Father, dismissing anything he said as gibberish. Father sighed. He really hated doing this. But he told all his children what would happen if they behaved very badly.

If the homuculus did something very bad or naughty, he/she would get paddled on the bare behind, and then have to wear special white panties that said "I've been naughty" in black marker on the back. The bad homuculus would then have to walk around the base the whole day showing the back of the panties from underneath their clothing. Father would usually make a hole using alchemy, but it was easier with Envy because he wore a skort.

(I got this insane idea from a comic on )

Envy ignored the scolding, but panicked when he felt a draft under his skirt. He looked down, and saw his shorts were gone!

Father then proceeded to quickly paddle Envy's behind to a dark pink, then slipped the panties on, before pinning the bottom of the skirt to his top with a pin. Father then told Envy the worst part of his punishment.

"Envy...I've decided that you should be treated how you act like Edward was. I'm sending you to Roy to be treated like a two year old for however long it will take. Wrath will escort you." Father explained.

Envy was shocked. "B-but Father...what about these?!" Envy exclaimed, pointing to the exposd panties.

"Ahhh, yes. I'll write a note to make sure their returned when you come back. Don't worry." Father mused stoically. Envy was in even more shock and panic. It was normal to walk around the base in those things, but in TOWN!?! Envy would never live this down! What was even worse was his dark pink thighs were peeking out from under the panties. "Daaaaaaaad!!! Please don't make me go out like this!" Envy whined.

"The decision is final. Now go to Roy and give him this note. And you will tell him everything about your punishment and apologize."

Envy growled, before stomping out of his room. At the entrance of the base, Envy heard everyone talking about him.

"Hehehe...look Lust! His bum's still pink!" (Gluttony)

"Someone's been a bad boy." (Lust)

"Yes you have been naughty, Envy!" (Greed)

Envy did his best to ignore everything, as he and Wrath exited the base.

I know this isn't really good. But R&R anyways!!!! PLZ!!!!


	12. Chaos in Diapers

Chapter Twelve: Chaos in Diapers

In the streets of town, Wrath and Envy walked side by side to Roy's house. Envy kept his face buried in his hands. He was so embarassed that Father would actually suggest this! He heard some guys laughing at him, and one sang, "I see London, I see France, I see a naughty boy's underpants!" Envy threw them a glare, and kept walking.

At Roy's house, Envy was at the doorstep, while Wrath hid in the bushes. Envy knocked on the door, and waited for Roy's answer.

Roy was washing dishes as Ed was sitting on a hard, small stool. He was sniffling, for he was also spanked pretty hard. Roy finally let him out, as he heard a knock on the door. He opened the door to see Envy, looking at his feet in embarassment.

"I'm very sorry for...for fighting with Ed. Father told me to give you this." He explained as he held out the note. Roy took it cautiously, as Envy told Roy what happened. "After the incident, Father took me to my room and paddled me. Then he..." Envy was blushing madly when he said this. "...put me in embarassing panties to walk through town to you in." He explained, turning around to show Roy the panties.

Roy nodded, and read the note.

_**Roy Mustang,**_

_**I sent Envy to you as part of his punishment. He is to be treated like you are treating Ed, like a two year old. **_

_**Also, you will notice he is wearing some special panties when he gets there. To ensure their safe return, I'll require Envy to wear them when he comes to you and when he leaves to go back to the base. Also, I believe it would be best if he kept his clothes, except the diapers. If you have any trouble, just punish him as if he were Ed.**_

_**Thank You,**_

_**Father**_

Roy's eyes widened. No wonder Envy was so embarassed! He smiled, and ruffled the homuculus' hair. Envy looked up in suprise, then watched as Wrath left. Envy was welcomed inside, and was taken to the bathroom. Envy looked around in confusion. But he was relieved when Roy first took the pin out of his top, letting the skirt fall down over the once-exposed panties. Roy then took off the panties, and stuck them in the laundry hamper.

Envy's relief was soon replaced with panic as he felt himself being picked up, and put on the changing table. Once there, Roy grabbed a diaper and fastned it under Envy's skirt. Roy then sat Envy up, and told him to wait there until he came back. Roy then made a quick phone call, and came back to Envy.

"Havoc will be coming shortly to look after you two while I'm at the store. Until then, have some fun with Ed." Roy explained. He carried Envy to the playpen. "Now you two get along, okay?" Roy asked as he left the two alone to wait for Havoc to arrive.

When Havoc did arrive, Roy said goodbye, and left Havoc with the rugrats.

Soon, Envy felt the need to "do his business". He checked to make sure Havoc wasn't looking, and climbed out of the playpen to the bathroom. He certainly wasn't going to actually use the diaper! He was about to enter, when Ed said, "Imagine Roy in a diaper."

The mere thought made Envy burst with laughter. He was so caught up in laughter, he didn't notice something trickle down his legs. He froze, and felt his skirt...wet. He groaned loudly. Havoc came, and saw Envy out of the playpen with a wet skirt front. He chuckled, and led the embarassed homuculus in the bathroom. Havoc slipped Envy out of his skirt, and stuck it in the laundry room washer. While the washer was going, he changed Envy's diaper, which was very akward for Envy.

After his diaper was changed, Envy was told to stay on the changing table while Havoc put his skirt in the dryer. He went back to the bathroom, to see Envy sitting on the table like he was told. Once the dryer was finished, Havoc pulled Envy's skirt back up, and Envy was put back in the playpen.

Soon, Roy came back, carrying another crib, highchair, and various other supplies. He explained since he had two toddlers to take care of, he would need two of everything. After Roy set everything up, Havoc said good-bye, and left. "Okay, guys. Naptime!" Roy exclaimed. Envy groaned. He expected Ed to groan too, but he was already asleep! Roy chuckled, and picked up the two. He set each of them down in their cribs, and stayed with them until Envy was asleep as well.

An hour later, Envy woke up, and yawned. Dang it. He really wished it was all a dream. He then heard another yawn. He looked to his left, and saw Ed in another crib.

Soon, Roy came in, and smiled as he saw his two boys were up. He then checked Ed's diaper, and tsked, "Wet again."

Envy quickly checked his, and groaned in embarassment. He felt Roy gently check, and snicker. Envy blushed. Roy picked Ed up, and told Envy, "I'll be back. I have to change Ed first." Then left.

Envy waited awhile, before Roy came back and picked him up. He carried Envy to the bathroom, and made quick work of changing him. Envy was then carried to the playpen, where Ed was sitting and playing with the baby trucks, watching "Dora the Explorer."

Envy watched the show for a couple of minutes, before turning to Ed. He scooted to Ed, and whispered something. Ed smirked with each word.

I'm done for now! Tell me more ideas for a cookie! R&R!!!!!!


	13. More Chaos and Akwardness

Chapter Thirteen: More Chaos and Akwardness

Soon, Roy fell asleep. Ed and Envy snickered. Envy grabbed some makeup, (don't ask why Roy has makeup) and Ed grabbed a bunch of markers and pens. They drew all over Roy's face, making him look like a girl with no taste in makeup. Roy woke up, and started to get suspicious when he saw what the two toddlers were holding. He put them back in the playpen, and checked in the mirror.

The image was horrifying.

Roy washed his face, then went back to the boys. He grabbed them each by the arm, and dragged them to separate corners. Envy was confused. What was he supposed to do now? He looked at Ed, who was facing the wall beside him. He then heard Roy from behind order, "Envy, face the wall." Envy did as he was told, not wanting anymore trouble.

5 minutes later, Roy let them out, and let them play for awhile before dinner, which was green beans and milk. Envy smiled as Ed was fed his milk. But he panicked when he felt himself being picked up and held like a baby. Roy shoved the bottle in Envy's mouth, and Envy paused, not knowing what to do. He found out when Roy squirted the bottle, and milk flowed in his mouth. He suckled on the bottle, until all the milk was gone.

Very soon, it was time for Ed and Envy's bath. Envy blushed. That meant he had to take a bath _with_ Ed. After turning on the water, Roy poured in some bubbles, and proceeded to undress Ed and Envy, both of them trying to cover their privates. Roy set them down in the warm water, and filled the tub with new bath toys. Ed settled to playing with a rubber duck, while Envy stared at a sailboat intently, as if watching an alien do a jig in his underwear. He bopped the boat, which sunk and floated back up. Envy giggled.

The two continued to play, ignoring the hundreds of flashes before their eyes. After awhile, Roy started washing them, which was extremely akward for Envy. When Roy started on Envy's belly, Envy started to giggle. Roy smirked. The only problem he had with Envy was when he washed his hair. Envy would pull away and slap at Roy's hands as Roy continued the assult. Soon, Envy and Ed were all clean, and wrapped in fluffy towles. Roy had them brush their teeth, and changed them into clean diapers and footies.

Ed got blue footies with a rubber duckie on the front, while Envy wore green footies with a teddy bear on the front. Roy smiled. "Okay, Bedtime!" He exclaimed. Of course, Ed and Envy made a break for it. Roy chased them all around the house, until he finally grabbed Ed, then simply waited for Envy to come running by again and scoop him up. He set them down in their cribs, and stayed with them until he knew they were asleep.

Sorry for the long wait. I try to update soon. NEED MORE IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!! R&R!!!!


	14. Checkups Are Never Easy

Chapter 14: Checkups are never easy.

The next morning, Ed and Envy woke up early. They snuck out of their room, to see Roy on the phone. He glanced at the boys, said goodbye, and hung up. The children looked at him in confusion. Roy smiled, and bent to their level.

"Let's go for a drive, boys." He cheered. After changing the boys and clothing Ed, (blue shirt and green shorts) he set the two in their booster seats, gave them each a bottle of milk, and started up the car.

Envy took a couple of gulps, before asking, "Where are we going?" Roy smiled. "I was on the phone with the doctor. You two are going to get a checkup."

The mere utterance of the word 'doctor' made Ed shiver. "Sh-shots?" he asked. "I don't know. Maybe, maybe not." Roy replied. This made both Ed and Envy shudder.

At the doctor's office, Roy carried the two toddlers inside, and sat them down in his lap in the waiting room. A few minutes later, they were called in.

In the exam room, the female nurse had Ed first stand near the height chart. "5.0" She announced. Roy smirked, a look that said, "I told you so". Envy then stood against it. "5.2" She then weighed them, and then there was taking Ed's temperature. The nurse set Ed down on the table on his stomach, and pulled down his pants and diaper. Ed whimpered as the cold thermometer inserted itself into his backside. "96.5"

Now there was Envy. He would try to avoid the nurse, which meant running to a different side of the room each time the nurse lunged for him. Envy then unfortunately landed on the table on his stomach, with Roy pinning him down with a hand on his back. Envy whimpered and covered his head in his arms as the nurse pulled up his skirt and pulled his diaper down. He couldn't help but manage a small squeak as the thermometer was inserted. "98.5" The nurse panted.

As Envy sat in Roy's lap, Ed got his checkup. The nurse would sometimes make a joke, such as when she looked in Ed's ear and asked, "Is that Roy I see?" Ed smiled. So far, so good.

Envy then got his checkup, and then there was a knock at the door. They looked, and saw another nurse carrying a small tray. Ed looked in the tray, and saw four syringes.

Ed and Envy squirmed in Roy's grip, especially when the nurse left and closed the door. The nurse in the room, still smiling, asked, "Now who would like it first?"

Roy handed Ed to her, who was kicking and flailing around in her grip. The nurse set Ed down on his stomach again, pulling down his shorts and diaper. Ed whimpered as the nurse picked up the first syringe. Ed couldn't help but yelp and wiggle as the medicine was injected. It was the same with the second one.

If Ed was afraid of shots, Envy was worse. He jumped out of the nurse's grip, and ran around the room in a panic. But of course, the nurse was quicker and smarter. She swiftly scooped up Envy and slung him over her shoulder, kicking and screaming. She then proceeded to lay him down on the table, lift up his skirt, pull down his diaper, and reach for the syringe. Before he knew it, Envy got the shots, and was let up.

After the doctor, Roy drove to an ice cream parlor, saying it was a reward for their "bravery". Ed rolled his eyes at Envy, who just smirked.

After ice cream, the boys went home, where Roy announced, "Tomorrow, we're going to Risembool!"

Ed cheered, while Envy just blushed. What is everyone going to think when he shows up in a diaper?

Okay. That's finally done. R&R!


	15. Pottytraining and Resembool

Chapter 15: Potty training and Resembool

After the boys' naps, Roy brought them to the living room to discuss something important. "I read that most two-year-olds are potty trained, so I believe since we can't have you peeing and pooping in your little diapers, I'm going to have to potty train you!" Roy cheered. Ed and Envy looked in disgust. Sure they may get out of their diapers soon, but did Roy REALLY have to say he was going to watch them go to the bathroom?

The next day at Resembool, Ed and Envy were being babied by Winry, as Roy went out shopping for potty training supplies. During the period of babying, Winry came to Envy with a bottle of milk. Of course Envy had never been bottle fed by a girl, so he tried to avoid Winry a few times, but Winry soon caught him and sat him in her lap, putting the nipple of the bottle in his mouth.

As Envy was sucking on the bottle, Roy came in, holding a toddler potty and a pack of potty training "underpants". Ed watched Roy set up the potty, which looked like a duck bicycle. It was a yellow duck with blue eyes, and orange, smiling beak, and two red handlebars on either side of the head. The neck was long, and went down to a white toilet bowl. Ed winced, feeling like barfing.

Roy saw Ed, and smiled. He scooped Ed up in his arms, and took him inside the bathroom. Despite Ed's babbled protests, Roy took Ed's shorts and diaper off, and sat him on the cold porcelain. Ed blushed as he saw Roy staring at him. It was really embarrassing to be that low to the ground where Ed was, his legs and feet flat against the floor, spreading his legs. This made Ed blush even more.

When Ed was done, Roy wiped him, (which felt extremely weird) and pulled on Ed's new "Underpants" and shorts. Then Roy went for Envy. Envy had finished the bottle, and was playing with Winry when Roy came in. After envy was done and put in the "underpants" and his skirt, Roy let the two go play.

Pinako stepped beside Roy. "I think things will finally get interesting around here." She said. Roy nodded in agreement.

R&R! Sorry it's so short I have to leave for school and I can't save it on here! IDEAS! And I need requests for my Ed/Hughes spanking one-shots! BRBROFLMAOBBQ!


	16. PreK Daze

Sorry it has been so long. :(

Chapter 16: Pre-K Daze

"Congrats you two! You are now 3 years old! By that I mean for another two weeks, you two shall be treated like three year old's! Congratulations!" Roy said all-too cheerfully. Ed and Envy looked in surprise. What would happen now that they were 3?

Roy wasn't finished yet. "And, I got this special note in the mail about a special preschool accepting 3 year old's! So guess where you're going tomorrow!"

The next day, Roy came in the duo's bedroom, to see the cribs were empty. Meanwhile, in the coat closet of the guest room, Ed and Envy were squished together, trying to be as quiet as possible. Ed giggled, "He'll never find us." "Shut up, pipsqueak!" "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK!"

Roy opened the closet, to have Ed and Envy fall out, grunting.

At the preschool, the teacher, Miss Mary, assembled the kids on the carpet to learn ABC's. "Okay, children, time to learn! Today, we will learn our ABC's! First, I'll say a letter, then you say it!" She explained. Ed and Envy rolled their eyes. Miss Mary frowned. "Edward, Envy, go flip your cards!" In the preschool, there were a number of green cards on the wall behind them. When a child was bad, he or she would have to flip a card.

Ed and Envy got up from their spots on the carpet, and went to go flip the cards. They found their names, and flipped the card to blue, sticking the green card in the back of the stack, then went back to their seats.

What could happen next? R&R!


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